Dimming

walking through

the gates of Hades

I accepted my fate

dying doing what I loved

with the people I cared about

and so, as if 

I was about to be plunged

into a frozen lake

I braced myself

clutching my body

and shutting my eyes

in anticipation

of them never opening

again

and yet,

they kept opening

again

and

again

how I lived in the twilight

existing between

the light of life

and the darkness of nothingness

how I walked on a shore

on the edge 

of the seaand the land

of breath and death

waiting to succumb

to the shadow

until, for the first time,

I saw the sun

illuminating the world

I never knew

could be so beautiful

having lived in the dark

for so long

and when fate finally

caught up to me again

and began to drown me

I no longer felt peace

for I now had

unfinished business

to explore this vast

beautiful world

and it was for this vision

that I raged against

the consciousness

flowing out of my brain

like water spilling

out of a cup

knocked on its side

for I refused to leave

this beautiful world

with my family far, far away

in a city, I didn’t grow up in

half a continent away

cursed with a misguided purpose

of serving the greatest good

for the greatest number of souls

instead of giving my entire soul

to each person

I had the honor of impacting

when they were broken

how I suffered from the disease

of thinking every second

with one person

was a second less

I could spend

with the next

how I was a cog

in a screeching machine

that printed apathy

how these thoughts pained me

as I treaded water

as I got tired

as the water entered my lungs

as the world got darker

and all I could do

was suffer

and cry

and feel my powerlessness

at that vision

slowly fading away

forever